REACHING AT 65: TRAUMA’S YEARS OF MY LIFE

It took more than three and a half years of agonies, pains, long sufferings of loneliness and deep loneliness. If I can only avoid on remembering those bitter memories, but realities are there.

Writing blogs was a great help in me then, great joys it brings in me. I couldn’t notice how times and days passes by as long as my hands busy typing. Themes to write were just easy on me, topics to enjoy and impart it on keys seems a click.

But something disturbed my mind, my life in those years. I’ve never thought I would have that kind of feelings. Seems my whole life body and soul was chained, just because of that silly feelings. I’d confessed to God Almighty for that great fault I had committed. Months of that silly feeling before my mind was waken up.

I had never fall in love to any man back ways in my youth days. Yes, I have two sons which I prayed so hard to have. Love was never there, I stand as a father and mother to both. Bitter things I don’t like to divulge even my sons don’t want.

I thought it was love am having, a little bit of my life became insane. Maybe, because of his too much kindness and helpful, led me to false feelings. I thank God Almighty for He never let me to go on with those false feelings. I was spanked by Him, which almost took more than three years. Night and days of praying asking God’s guidance, forgiveness and renewed spirit in me.

How sincere prayers with tears and forgiveness from God Almighty helped to be able to stand those bitter days. Though I can’t thoroughly conclude that everything is well, at least God had opened wide my mind. Thru God’s help, slowly I can now able to survive everyday life, though still alone almost. Almost every hour praying and tears rolling on my cheeks, helps a lot.

Christ Jesus kind of faith He had implanted in my heart, mind and soul. A stronger woman I am now than before. Yes, at least I able to handle days of being alone, just keep on praying. Am now at 67 going to 68 if He permits, may I able to do the task given in me with satisfaction grade.

Thank you oh Lord God is all I can give.

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