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My Mother In Law- How Do I Love Thee?



Mother in laws and daughter in laws seldom goes well with each other. I’m not sure, but this is base only on my own observations I had seen. I don’t have read yet any survey regarding how many percent of mother in laws and daughter in laws are in good or in bad relationships.

I can’t blame either parties, two women merge under one roof with different kind of family ties.

Good are those whose mother of the groom really wanted the girl or the other way around.


Different race intermarriage often resulted to indifference of couples. That is, if parents of one parties live with the new couple. Problem arises coming from different factors.

Sometimes, living in one family compound is another contributor. Relatives who are fond of bothering other lives, but don’t dare about them.

If the woman is rich, not a much to worry, she is well look up by relatives and parents of the groom.

My brother was a US navy then, met and married to a Filipina also. But this woman did not treat my mother well. She was place in home for the aged. We were not even notified when she died.

A friend of mine who is at almost 70 years old now, has same problem too with her daughter in law. Her one and only son got married upon having a stable job as manager in a certain department store of a big mall here. She is so open hand to the woman families and mostly to her. But in spite of that she is not well cared.

I pity her so much, but what can I do. I kept on advising her but she love her son so much.


Though I wasn’t lucky of having a good husband, and a mother or let say father in law too, meeting friends and reading helps a lot. I encountered friends telling their stories about their family, so I learned a lot. I able to give advices when necessary.

There are favoritism whenever the mother in laws shows much favor to another daughter in law. Perhaps the other is rich, or knows the tactics to tickle her in laws. While the other is timid or not a fond showing her feelings.

Some really don’t want any both sides of parents to be with them. Or she is really an aristocrats one, a dominant woman.

If the families of either side is poor,  wealth a big wall too. When other side has poor health condition, and they become a source of financial help, add that again.

Of course, there are always an exception to the rule as saying goes.

I have seen that too among my friends and relatives and neighbors.

They had cared much the parents of her husband even more than their real parents. Specially those woman who had suffered less love from true parents and relatives. Or maybe, she is an orphan when they got married, and the old parents are kind to her and loved them so much.

There are cases also, at first a misunderstanding, but later a good relationships is develop when a certain incidents happens. It triggers the way to a mutual understanding and caring.

I got a chat with a friend yesterday, an intimate one on one opening her heart to me

It was quite a month now that I have been observing her whenever we met in the church were we are both members. I observed how much she cares much her in law. The old woman is at 70 plus year old now. One and only son of that old woman. Her son is working abroad,( a mechanical engineer} and she was left under the care of her daughter in law. His wife, lucky for him, is an orphan, both mother and father are deceased.

When it’s so hot inside, she even keep on fanning the old lady, wiping the back always with a white towel. Giving her food and see to it she won’t go hungry. I sigh softly with a great joy seeing like this scene.

Combing her when the electric fan blows its hair. Assisting her to go to the comfort room. Assuring the old lady won’t get slide. She place a small stool on her feet so it won’t get weary for sitting for a long time. It takes a long hour for us as we listens to God’s teachings thru Bro. Eli, our spiritual church leader.

Whenever at home, (it’s just the two of them in the house) the two often shares jokes and laughter. No dull moments for them. Or it is because the woman was not lucky to have a child at all. It’s from husband side defects.

I ask her, what gives you the reason for loving such your mother in law? She said, I don’t like to hurt others feeling specially the mother of my husband. God has given me another mother to be love and care. She is so kind to me, a quite old lady widower. My only companion since we don’t have a child yet. We enjoy our companion together. “

It’s not for the reason of money, just because her husband works abroad. It’s the love and care longing of lost parent. It’s a love because of the old lady’s son, she is so lucky to have a husband who is loving too. Should she not thank God for that?

Perhaps, others may reason out that because the old lady has a sole son. And the old lady is so kind too, though she’s a little weak and slow in moving around. Still the rapport of love that binds the two together, mutual sharing of feeling.

The above friend of mine I mentioned previously is same as this old lady. Sole son also. They have their own lot and a house. Whenever my friend has money, she gives out to her son as help for household consumptions.

But the caring, love, affection even the care of food to eat, oh no. So far from these just lately discussed.


Isn’t it right to love, care, respect, affections, a gift on special occasions for these old people specially when they are kind too for daughter in laws? Never mind I will say to those old in laws who are also so bad. No matter how right attitudes showed them, still will ignore right doings towards them..

Nevertheless, still don’t pay evil attitudes for the old ones, better set the two parties apart than to argue and create a much anger to both.

The lesson here, the husband must see to it owning a house just for them in the period of adjustment to both. Of course, not all old in laws are made well to their daughter in laws. (Am talking on the sides of woman only, but this covers too for the for the father in laws.

See to it too to let them met and be acquaintance first in order to create a good atmosphere. Doesn’t need to be so close. Avoiding only much less incidents of feeling apart. It is good to know family background of both parties.

The man should be capable and responsible man too, to both sides. Assuring a good family to raise. A wife to be must be of good moral, a God fearing one and ready to submit according to laws of God regarding couples life.

If the woman truly love the man, better love his parents

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